Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Living the Not So Sweet Life...

I would blame it on a taste bud malfunction or an over happy gag reflex, but I cant lie to myself, let alone all of you out there. I have found yet another, horrible bakery in the Denver Metro area. Pat came home with 3 paper bags, yes another place making you take home your desserts in a freaking paper bag,  from the  Lower Highlands bakery, Living The Sweet Life, located at 1535 Central Street. I hoped I was going to find at least something in the bags filled with $17.00 worth of sugar that didn't taste like sawdust, but I was wrong. 
We first tried the cookies, the sugar cookie in the shape of Michael Jackson's lips, was just extremely blah and this  disaster of a cookie tasted like plaster. The traditional chocolate chip cookie was better than the lips, but it tasted very similar to Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. If it was fresh out of the oven, and cooked by blind grandma, then i would say it was good, but I'm sad to say she didn't bake it. There was also a Mexican Wedding cookie, and growing up surrounded by Mexican bakeries in Carpinteria CA, i know what the best of the best taste like, but this cookie had me choking on the powdered sugar and foulness. 
Next was the Chocolate croissant, which again was a major Oops! The chocolate seemed to only be in one spot of the croissant so half of it had absolutely no chocolate and when you finally got some chocolate you almost passed out from chocolate overload. It tasted as if it had been sitting in the bakery since the morning, as it was crunchy and did have the fluffy airy texture as many croissants do and should have. 
The Cherry Brownie was up next, and seriously, how hard is it to screw up a brownie? The frosting was piled so high and tasted so artificial i almost vomited at first bite. (Oh, and please let me know where they grow hot pink cherries, thanks!)
Now was time for what they are "popular" for, according to the "space cadet" (quoted from Pat) sales girl, a Pecan Caramel Bar. And if this is what they are famous for, they must be related to the Octo-Mom, because this thing was wack! I think i might of lost two of my teeth trying to bite into this thing. 
Finally, and thank god, the last two things; Cake Balls. Frosting, cake and chocolate, where can you go wrong? Well, this bakery surely did these wrong! The Red Velvet was the worst, I don't know how they did it, but it tasted like corn bread!?!? The all chocolate one was just...well I don't know what to say, two of us didn't even come close to finishing these balls, and I'm leaving it at that!
One last thing, what cupcake shop doesn't have any freaking cupcakes to sell?!? Im done, DENIED!

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